The Muppet Show

One night, idly modding the comments on here, I came upon ten successive posts all plainly from the same individual, whose burblings grew increasingly more deranged the further up the list I worked.

"Am I getting to you yet?" demanded this idiot at one point (well, no, because I can hit "reject" quicker than - say - a mad BNP legal eagle can bash out insults).

The final comment ended with the epithet "Muppets!", a plural noun coincidentally much beloved of one Lee John Barnes, the man who managed (belatedly) to join the BNP for a fiver less than anybody else, if we are to believe his Walk Towards The Light postings on Stormfront (regular Stormfronters were a little surprised that Mr Barnes did not seem to know the cost of the BNP membership he had apparently just paid).

It may be remembered that Barnes, known by many on his side of the fence as "Bagel" or "Bonkers", made a threat to sue Lancaster UAF (as was) and me personally to force us to hand over the details of friends and supporters here making comments not to his liking:

What I found most disgusting about these comments was the allegation that I have been making death threats ... I do not have any money to defend myself over any allegations like these by hiring a solicitor, but I am prepared to sue Denise Garside personally and Lancaster UAF and order their ISP provider to hand over the details of anyone making such an allegation on their site ... I suggest that the Lancaster UAF now remove that posting before I issue a writ for it.

(I had better point out here that all Barnes's words as republished in this article have been copied and pasted "as is", and apologise in advance to those who are offended by bad language.)

Barnes made his threat on December 24th. We're still waiting for the writ - in fact, we're desperate to receive it!

Over the years Barnes has been a great source of amusement for anti-fascist Stormfront watchers as he stalked the threads in his various guises, fooling almost nobody (least of all the resident Nazis) as he puffed and preened and polished whatever reputation he imagined himself to possess.

As Walk Towards The Light, a nom-de-guerre Barnes has retained longer than is normal for him, the 21st Century British Nationalist appears to function as Nick Griffin's attack dog, disrupting threads and posting insults whenever the bona fides of the BNP's leader are called into question, as they are with monotonous frequency.

Barnes also functions as moderator on the BNP's own dissent-free internal forum, and in his Stormfront persona as Walk Towards The Light recently appeared to confirm to suspicious fellow posters that the IP addresses of BNP dissenters posting on Stormfront were passed over to the moderators of the BNP forum. The supposition of the suspicious Stormfonters was that since BNP members need to supply their membership numbers to join the BNP forum, dissenters could be easily identified if their logged Stormfront and BNP forum IP addresses matched.

We couldn't possibly confirm such an outrageous allegation, and therefore won't be repeating it here...

We can, however, confirm that notoriously pro-Griffin Stormfront moderator John Joy Tree, aka Andy Robertson, this week openly celebrated renewing his BNP membership. Of course, the fact that Stormfront is allegedly proscribed to BNP members under pain of expulsion (step forward founder member Keith Axon) is of little consequence to the likes of Robertson and Barnes - at least, while they are in Griffin's good books.

Those who can be bothered to plough through the primary-school grammar, foul language and execrable spelling of Barnes's 21st Century British Nationalism blog will have found themselves periodically confronted by his side-splitting attempts at poetry. As these are close relatives of Monty Python's Funniest Joke in the World, and as our readers may not survive the experience of their repetition here, we elect to publish only the visitor comments to Barnes's "Cry Africa":

"You're a shite poet, crap lawyer...why do you bother to wake up in the morning?"

"Do try to learn to spell and use apostrophes."

And:

"We've just been in touch with Fergal Keane. He was really interested in what you had to say about him. All that libel and lies in one post. And he wasn't happy at all. Not at all ... No point in taking the post down. Copies off it stored at many locations ... Hehehe."

Which interjection brings us to the fact that while Lee John Barnes is famously thin-skinned when insults and (alleged) libels are heading in his direction, he is just as famously unrestrained when it comes to handing them out.

The person claiming that journalist Fergal Keane had been contacted was referring to an earlier boggle-eyed Barnes rant, "Fergal Keane and the blood on his hands", which contained the following observations:

"Keane was one of the main propagandists for the ANC during his years as a BBC journalist in South Africa... Like the rest of the verminous journalist sub species ( Homo Ratus ) Keane was one of the first to jump the sinking ship once he had finished gnawing away at its foundations sufficently to ensure it sunk... It was journalists like Keane with their biased, political pro-ANC propaganda that ensured the world had a distorted and one sided view of South Africa under apartheid... It was people like Keane who supported the ANC and who propagandised the ANC who now bear the shame and guilt of the way that South Africa has descended into a corrupt and criminal ochlocracy under the control of ANC thugs and killers."

Several thousand quids in compo for Fergal there already, methinks, but Lee was on a roll:

"The youth brigades that Keane propagandised to the world as the liberators of South Africa, were nothing more than insane criminals and murderers... It was Keane and his ilk who sought to portray those animals as heroes, who destroyed South Africa and who know bear the blood guilt of the 50 murders a day that afflict that tortured nation."

Why stop there?

"It is white liberal wankers like Fergal Keane who propagandised and demonised white rule who are the agents of this crisis."

Any more?

"The white boss man Keane made sure the natives did as he demanded and got their ANC government and then fucked off out of the country and left them to rot whilst the legacy of his liberal delusions destroyed the country and their lives."

Finished yet?

"If idiots like Keane hadnt propagandised the ANC and acted as its recruiters and got innocent Africans to join the ANC movement, then the thousands of deaths caused by the ANC waging wars against its enemies during aparheid would not have happened and nor would South Africa be in the crisis it is in today It was white scum like Keane who beat the drum for the killers in the ANC that bear the guilt of the killings today."

That it?

"It was you Keane who glorified ANC crimes and killings... It was you Keane who created the culture of death and violence in South Africa that was the resut of the ANC existing and coming into power... It is you Keane who has the blood of the thousands upon thousands of innocent people on your hands."

Even more?

"You beat the drum for the ANC, you propagandised the ANC, you glorified the children dragged from their schools by the ANC and turned into killers and criminals... It is you Keane and all those liberal filth with their propaganda and lies that bear the guilt and shame of South Africa today."

I think we can see where Lee is going with this so we'll leave it there.

Curiously, that post attracted no comments at all until the person who was allegedly party to the contacting of Fergal Keane made his remarks. Barnes retorted to him: "As for you, you leftist pond slime, crawl back into the arsehole that you crawled out of. Degenerate scum."

Suddenly, and in the same few hours, several supportive comments appeared on the Keane post, replete with Barnsian terminology ("murder-enabling scum") and spelling ("hipocrisy"). Was Barnes getting worried?

If he was, he quickly blew any defence to the four winds.

Dear Fergal,

If you are reading this please sue me.

That way I can declare myself bankrupt after the trial and cost the BBC hundreds of thousands of pounds when I opt to fight the court case all the way in open court.

Please, please sue me. This blog could do with the publicity.

Taking on the BBC would give me a publicity boost equivalent to a viagra.

To be honest I have only managed to get one libel case into the Royal Court of Justice as a Mackenzie friend and need the experience of fighting one involving myself.

If anyone else wants to sue me for libel please feel free.

I shall check the email on a regular basis for any legal letters etc.

P.S Fergal how did it feel watching the Black African guy say that he wanted the National Party back in power because the ANC was such a nightmare.

Instead of listening to the man you just dismissed him with a ' you must be joking'.

No Fergal he wasnt joking - and the fact you even suggested he was in order to 'shame' him for telling you how he felt was evidence of your liberal bias, contempt for him as a real person (other than as a black who should act as you as white liberal demand he should )and your adherence to the beliefs of liberal bullshit.

He told the truth as he saw it, and you ridiculed him for it. It is you as a white liberal journalist in South Africa at the time of the ANC war who is responsible for much of the carnage that has resulted from the takeover of power by the ANC. But you could not accept that truth, as to do so would mean you would have to accept your role in creating the nightmare.

You and the BBC are the agents of the demise of South Africa as you propagandised and eulogised the ANC, and as such are complict in the murders committed by the ANC and also the social collapse of African society.

Now scuttle along to your lawyers and get your writ typed up.

Muppet.

There's that word "Muppet" again!

Before moving on, let's just take a quick tour of the towering legal intellect's blog to see who else has recently been in line for a syntactically tortured mauling.

There's Jeremy Paxman: "Jeremy Paxman, BBC journalist on a million quid a year and hypocritical liberal arsehole... Paxman your a fucking arsehole mate."

The RMT's Bob Crow: "...retarded Marxist thug... The RMT is run by a clique of political dinosaurs around their own little tin pot Stalin, Comrade Bob."

BBC producer Nasreen Suleaman: "Stupid lieing Taqqiya bitch."

The Home Office: "(for members of the press / government / police reading this I have copyrighted the words THE MYSTERONS to describe the non-Muslim Islamist terrorists who are not motived by Islam/ Islamism. Therefore if any overpaid fifthwit in the Home Office uses my copyrighted phrase to describe Al Qaeda / THE MYSTERONS then I will sue your ass )."

Fifthwit? (Answers on a postcard to Lancaster Unity.)

Jon Cruddas: "Labour goon and hypocrite."

Billy Brag: "...twat..."

Miscellaneous verbatim:

The Hag Ebanks ( a delusional and hideous freak who lies even about her own ethnicity )

Adrian Davis ( The Mekon - sad, inadequate dwarf who has had a decade long sulk about the BNP not understanding his 'genius')

Kenny Smith ( Thief )

Steve Blake ( Data Thief )

John Brayshaw ( idiot )

Sadie Graham ( ringleader of the thieves )

That's enough of that, I think.

We could at this point move on to Barnes the Scientist's Mirror Neurone Theory: "For a while I have been working on a theory that links the Cro-Magnons, Western Culture and altruism. It is my theory that the basis of human altruism and our capacity for creating complex and advanced social structures and cultures is due to the increase in the numbers of mirror neurones in the human brain and the increased connections between the mirror neurones and the neo-cortex."

Or we could discuss Barnes and UFO's: "It was about six foot long and about six foot wide and rose up into the sky then disappeared back below the skyline as soon as I sighted it. The movement was deliberate and controlled. The object had been lifting itself above the woods from the ground and when it came into eyesight recoiled to the right with incredible speed. As soon it realised it was being observed it dropped back below the trees. This suggests to me that not only was it under conscious direction but that it was aware it was being observed and took direct action to ensure that it could not be observed."

As ever, Barnes has a Theory: "... as some the witnesses at some UFO sightings state that US military insignia are seen on the crafts, but if the latter is true then we have to start dealing with this in a serious way. That means getting the US to admit it has these craft, what technology they are using, what the capacity is of these craft, what threat they pose to our national security if the Chinese get hold of the technology and also what the bloody hell have they been doing not giving their closest allies access to this technology."

My theory is that Barnes really did see a UFO which silently scanned his brain and was so traumatised that it couldn't get back to Alpha Centauri fast enough.

Let's leave the last word to the "sad, inadequate dwarf" and barrister Adrian Davies, posting as Insurgent on Stormfront:

You've been smoking too much pot again, Bagel . . . Let me put that another way. You are a malicious liar, and have made that story up out of envy and resentment of your betters. If you don't like that comment, well, you know that I am rich enough to be well worth suing, so go ahead and make my day.

Now the Eddas tell us not to bandy words with ill bred oafs, and the moderators tell us not to get off topic, but since you have sorely provoked me, let me tell you a story about an incompetent saddo wannabe lawyer, who has been a failure all his life. Unlike your mendacious inventions, it has the merit of being true.

There is a train driver who lives in the South of England, in one of the Medway towns. He is a gutsy nationalist, and stood as a BNP candidate in a local election. His union, ASLEF, decided to expel him for being a BNP member, which was illegal under the law as it stood at the time (one of Maggie Thatcher’s better laws).

The train driver asked Wannabe to help him take on the union in the Employment Tribunal. Let’s be fair to Wannabe. He did a pretty good job at first, but then conceit or devilry or smoking too much weed got to him, and he began to play very silly buggers indeed.

Wannabe had the use of the train driver’s computer to help him to prepare the case. He used it to post grossly libellous attacks on several ASLEF officials on a website called trueaslef.com. These libels were complete inventions of Wannabe’s, but he used the train driver's name when posting, because after all, Wannabe is in his own estimation (though no-one else’s) a very important person indeed, and working class nobodies such as train drivers are expendable.

Not surprisingly, the union officials who had been falsely accused of stealing its funds and using them to pay for holidays with prostitutes in five star hotels in Cuba were not best pleased with the train driver whom they believed had posted the libels. Their belief was not unreasonable, considering that the e-mails were signed off with the train driver's name, and came from his e-mail address. So they sued the train driver.

When the case came to Court, Wannabe went on holiday to Cornwall because he is a coward and a liar, and was afraid to give evidence. The train driver went down for a huge amount despite his barrister's best efforts. The trouble was, the jury wanted to know why Wannabe wasn't there to 'fess up and dig the train driver out of the hole into which he had dropped him. Luckily for the train driver, his barrister was able to sort the mess that Wannabe had made out a few months down the line, but in the meanwhile, the train driver had to live with the prospect of losing his home, where he lives with his partner and their sick child. Wannabe however had a good holiday in Cornwall. Now he blames the train driver's barrister for not winning that case . . .

How would you like Wannabe to represent you?

How would you indeed!

All together now:

It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight!