August 22, 2010

Caption Comp: Phone a friend...

Nick and Clive try to find someone stupid enough to donate money to the BNP
It's ages since we had one of these, so let's be 'aving yer captions for this intriguing picture of Porky Griffin and Clive Jefferson/Aitken, the least-effective elections officer on the planet.

25 comments:

  1. "So exactly how many by-elections have you won, Clive?"

    "Erm......"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bugger. You preempted one I ws going to do for Norfolk Unity:

    Jefferson communications training at advanced level

    Griffin: "Hello?"

    Jefferson: "It's me."

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello.... Hello... Nick, can you hear me??

    The reception is rubbish around here!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello.... Hello... Nick, can you hear me??

    The reception is rubbish around here!

    ReplyDelete
  5. DELLO NICK ITS ME CLIVE.

    Clive you fool your standing right next to me.

    ARR YES BUT WHERE ARE WE ? ALL I CAN SEE IS A DIRTY OLD RIVER AND A LARGE GERKIN.

    Clive have you been at them mushrooms again ?

    ReplyDelete
  6. No caption because this ocmment on a dissident bnp site commenting on that London meeting is funny in its own right, and also a little tragic.

    "Its an utter disgrace, Griffin is acting like a bloody Fascist dictator"

    No? Really?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nick must be onto Martin Webster...

    "Give me a ring Martin, Jefferson useless with his digits"

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jim Dowsons a bloody marvel look at the wonderful equipment he has secured from the BNPs technology fund

    ReplyDelete
  9. "Clive, when I said ring for a new emergency plan, I didn,t think you would ring Fireman Sam"

    "Uggghhhh"

    ReplyDelete
  10. Clive: You mention a company vehicle, can you tell me more please?

    (pause)

    Clive: Yes, I can ride a bike.

    Nick: (pisses himself with laughter) I think you're just the man we've been looking for Mr. Jefferson, 'cos we're always on the lookout for dirty little plonkers like you!

    (Apologies to Only Fools and Horses)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Either,

    'This is your Windows service provider - there is a problem with your computer"

    or

    'There is a problem with your sky box'

    Both seem to be regular opening phrases from cold callers at the mo - both in the same kind of business as Gri££in who must be thinking of these as his next business venture once the BNP money train dries up!

    ReplyDelete
  12. NG: Clive have you arranged my fight booking to Spain with an extra two seats for minder Martin?

    CJ: Yeah Boss, everything's cosy.

    NG: Make sure that the meeting tonight is packed with plebs..err I mean my loyal supporters.

    CJ: Yeah Boss OK, incidentally Boss where are you ring me from?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Give us a donation Clive.

    Fuck off.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Spammy Spammington12:42 pm, August 22, 2010

    "I'll meet you down by the river, Clive."

    "Okay. Where's the river?"

    "Jeez..."

    ReplyDelete
  15. Nick: "How come you've got the legs of a deformed kangaroo?"

    Clive: "Someone's gotta have them."

    It's the way I tell 'em.

    ReplyDelete
  16. "I'LL BE THERE IN A COUPLE OF MINUTES!!!"

    (The cry of the lesser-spotted mobile-using bustard)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Nick takes a call from an irate person demanding monies owed by the BNP.
    Jeferson can't use a mobile - he fools no one.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Nick: Yes Jim, I see what you mean by evolved to the prehensile digits phase and not any further.

    Jefferson is still not fooling anyone in to believing he can use a mobile.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Signal seems fine Clive....your wife wants to know if you've seen the remote for the dvd player.

    ReplyDelete
  20. At the new BNP state of the art open air call centre the race is on for employee of the month.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Nick: "How come you've got the legs of a deformed kangaroo?"

    Clive: "Someone's gotta have them."

    It's the way I tell 'em.

    Taking the mick out of disabled people is not funny. No matter who they are.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Nick: Did you get my text?

    Clive: What's a "text"?

    ReplyDelete
  23. "these hearing aids that Dowson bought us aint that good Nick"

    Dont be silly they are state of the art and only cost us 5k

    ReplyDelete
  24. 'Taking the mick out of disabled people is not funny. No matter who they are.'

    Nobody here would take the piss out of anyone disabled. They're taking the piss because Jefferson the fitness freak has made himself look bizarre. I imagine the comment is referring to this picture.
    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tBYna5z42J8/TF3zlBpEvjI/AAAAAAAACwA/NLit34c5QhM/s1600/ScannedImage.jpg
    Of course, everyone is also welcome to take the piss out of Jefferson because he's a) useless, b) stupid and c) a dodgy character with a highly unsavoury past, too.

    ReplyDelete
  25. NG "No you hang up"

    CJ/A "Nooooo you hang up"

    NG "No you hang up"

    CJ/A "Nooooo you hang up"

    NG "No you hang up"

    CJ/A "Nooooo you hang up"

    NG "No you hang up, or i'll suspend you"

    Worst idea for a picture to look like you're busy of the week!

    ReplyDelete