Here Come The New Lot, Same As The Old Lot

The best thing about Anti Fascism is that it's never dull. Just as things look like they're getting boring and formulaic, something invariably turns up to jolly things along.

Attacking the BNP at the moment, for example, is getting a bit like going out to hunt kittens with a high-powered sniper rifle: The poor, bedraggled old fascists, soundly rejected by the very country they once dreamed of saving, led by the most inept bunch of criminals since the Ant Hill Mob and reduced to begging for pennies from their dwindling band of Supporters, are now the political equivalent of some drooling old wino going on at passers-by that “I'm a respected politician, you know...”

The EDL have settled into their predictable routine of delivering coachloads of hooligans to perfectly nice towns, like some horribly twisted courier service, who then charge around yelling and throwing things at anyone who isn't White before fishing out a suitably Asian spokesman to mumble something for the TV about how “we're not racist, honest.” Not only have they already had their cards marked by everyone from the Home Office to the Local Government Association, but they're about as well-loved and popular with the General Public as Heather Mills and George Osborne driving a Humvee at top speed through a busy children's playground. While playing the jingle from the “WE BUY ANY CAR DOT COM” advert at 200 decibels.

And now, along comes the British Freedom Party. The brainchild of a handful of disaffected ex-BNP stalwarts, it so far exists only as a registration form at the Electoral Commission and a shiny, bland logo above a (stock) photograph of a happy, smiling, multicultural crowd.

Giving an indication of the ineptitude and mayhem that may yet follow is the always-entertaining presence of self-styled guru of the Far-Right, dreadful novelist, worse poet, foul-mouthed blogger and “lawyer”, Lee John Barnes.

Starting a new party with Barnes as an integral part of it is a little like developing a new aircraft which incorporates Ryvita as a structural component. It probably isn't going to get very far.

Headed up by ex-BNP Organiser Peter Mullins and ex-BNP employee Michaela MacKenzie, the new outfit claims to be a “Civic Nationalist” party, who make much play of having a real accountant – John Savage (Please note: That's not the John Savage who had his legs cut off in The Deer Hunter) as their Treasurer, and a promise of ensuring greater financial probity that their last party. Although, next to the likes of Dowson and Griffin, a Pyramid Selling scheme run by Terry-Thomas would look a safe bet.

Predictably, the chatter has already begun on the Far-Right talkboards and chatrooms, with Griffin's trained apes attacking from one side (because it'll mean even fewer donors – sorry - “Supporters”), Butler's Reform Faction taking a different tack (claiming that people should still stick with the BNP because they'll run it one day, they really will) and even their own Supporters banging on about how they should never, under any circumstances, refer to the party by its acronym, because “BFP” is a bit too similar to “BNP”. This last one's a bit of a puzzler.

One might even suggest that someone could've thought that one through a bit more before it was too late.

Or maybe those in charge only noticed it when they proudly logged onto the Electoral Commission website and simultaneously clasped their hands to their foreheads and shouted “Doh!” as they saw it for the first time in black and white.

They are, of course, right; it is a bit similar. In fact, having checked this out with the Campaign for the Deacronymisation of Britain (the CDB), I can confirm that, even now, Anti-Fascists everywhere are preparing to chant “BFP! BNP! They Are All The Same To ME!” whenever they show their (strangely familiar) faces in public.

If they ever get that far.

They've already been nicknamed “Fluffy Fascists”. To judge from what has already appeared by way of “policy discussion” (courtesy of Barnes – and you won't be entirely surprised to learn that the first thing on their agenda is “Immigration”), they're just the same old Fascists the BNP ever were.

With a fluffy logo.