Far-Right Talkboards: A Whole Other World Out There...

I wouldn't make a very good spy. In 1985, I thought it would be a good idea to pop along to a pub in Ilkeston and melt into the background during a National Front meeting.

I'd have got away with it, too, if I didn't have long hair, flares and an Afghan coat. If nothing else, the smell would've given me away.

A couple of weeks ago I registered on of the Far-Right Talkboards. Under my own name (I've never really seen the point of pseudonyms), with no hidden agenda, and no motive other than wanting to understand why people think the things they do (and this particular Board seemed to have a few Members who might be able to actually argue the toss, rather than just go for name-calling and dark, sinister – if seemingly never acted upon – threats).

When the World History of Pointless Exercises is written (presumably by Giles Brandreth, with an hilarious forward by Richard Stilgoe), there might be room for a tiny sidebar sandwiched somewhere between a chocolate manufacturer changing the pronunciation of their name from “Nessuls” to “Ness-Lay” and the entire acting career of David Bowie. That's where you'll find My Heroic Foray Into The Alternative Universe Of The Ultra Right.

Ultra Right, I found for starters, isn't so much a political delineation as a philosophical stance: Most people are willing to accept that they've got it wrong occasionally. It's not very nice, but it goes with the whole “Being Human” territory. Not these people, though. On any subject, no matter how trivial. They aren't just “right” they're very, very, very right. All the time. About everything. Loudly. In their own imaginations.

Call me naïve, but I actually believed it may be possible to engage in some debate: A sensible exchange of views, coolly yet cogently expressed, based around a central theme. But waiting for a suitable juncture to drop my two penn'orth in was like hanging around outside a phone booth for a tramp to stop having a dump inside it: The waiting around was unpleasant enough, and I wouldn't have fancied going in afterwards, anyway.

The nature of the “debate” on the Forum often follows a pattern:

A) This is my point of view.

B) Frankly, I disagree with your point of view.

A) Sorry to disappoint you, but I still hold to my original point of view.

B) As do I.

C) Neither of you are True Nationalists, unlike myself, and I have it on good authority that you both enjoy the practise of ____________ , which you are wont to pursue in the company of _________, who likes to ___________ while you both insert ___________ into one another's ___________.

From this point onwards, things tend to go downhill rapidly.

The Lunar Society it ain't.

One of the few interesting things about the Board is the insight it gives into the various splits and factions among the Far-Right. There's the...

BNP Loyalists (“Griffinites”). These are the people, most of whom have joined the Boards only recently, who see their job as being to derail any debate that may be going on as soon as it becomes uncomfortable to their stance. Which is all the time. Their typical tactic, to this end, is to either use distraction, by sending things off on an entirely unrelated (but harmless) tangent (“Has anyone seen any good movies lately?”), or to just take the straightforward “I seen your Mum _________ with a __________!” approach.

There are the BNP Reformers (“Butlerites”). These are still Members, but detest Griffin and genuinely believe that they will somehow be able to wrest control of the dying enterprise from his tightly grasped claw.

Michael Barnbrook (“of the Yard” - I always expect him to end his posts with “Mind how you go” or “Keep 'em peeled”...) is a Reformer (and of the minority on the Board who actually seems to understand the concept of “debate”). He's also someone with form (to dig into my own vast experience of Met' argot: years of watching The Sweeney finally paying off there...) within his Party. Whatever the role he actually played in the Expenses Scandal (which will be debated for years to come), being on the side of the Taxpayer isn't something to be knocked, whatever your politics. He does, however, display a touchingly childlike innocence in his fond belief that, should he become Leader (he intends to stand), there might actually be something to inherit other than a pile of unpayable iou's and a brand name slightly less respected than Enron.

As a sidenote: The Griffinites routinely refer to Butler as “Brothel” Butler, or just “Buttler”. Waggish sophisticates that they are.

Then there are the Unaligned Nationalists. They aren't members of any faction, but they've done more for “Nationalism” over the years than anyone else and they're more patriotic than You. Fact. End Of. Got It?

Unaligned (now, at any rate) is one Jim Dowson, who recently posted (as “The Bruce”) a series of incoherent, grotesque rants and taunts. Aside from their entertainment value (“Griffo is the mighty king and I am his prince!”), they show his mental state to the World better than a team of burly men chasing him with a straitjacket and a butterfly net.

A recent showing on the Board is the BFP. Indeed, the Board is about the only place they exist (yesterday's “Launch” doesn't seem to have happened) and, as their “raft of policies” are distinguishable from the BNP's only with DNA analysis and a Hadron Collider, they've got their work cut out for themselves in making any kind of impact whatsoever.

And then there's (ex-BNP Webmaster) Simon Bennett. To describe him as “a bit of a strange one” is like saying Howard Hughes had the odd "funny little way" about him. In the days and weeks following his defection from the Party (a result of the Marmite fiasco), he was a Very Angry Man. But this was the kind of anger that soon turns into a Crusade For Justice. I have a friend who got a parking ticket in 2003 and has since compiled a dossier on that particular parking space that could rival the Collected Papers and Investigations of the Royal Society for exactitude, detail and pedantry. On the one hand, his Crusade against the Parking Enforcement Department of Nottingham City Council has paid off – no warden will ever mess with him again. On the other hand, he doesn't get invited to many parties anymore.

So with Bennett. At first, he seemed to be an interesting character; knowing where the bodies were buried, and always (it seemed) on the brink of marking them on a big map. But little more has come of it, and he's become yet another “Nationalist”: Albeit the self-proclaimed Guru of the Boards, who will shout down any perceived opponent and endlessly defend his own stance with an obsession (at times he seems to be on there 24/7) bordering on the unwell, and a (self-proclaimed) taste for violence and threats that doesn't so much “border” as “take up residence at the centre of” psychotic (a recent missive to someone who seems to have irked the touchy fellow ran: “Post one more time and my bat will connect with your f*****ng head you c***. I know your IP and your address you f*****g c**t”). As an asset to any emergent party (he's closely associated with the pre-doomed BFP) he can be ranked alongside Lee Barnes (whose rantings have already led to the resignation – after just over a week – of their much-trumpeted, straight-arrow Treasurer, John Savage).

If anything, the Boards demonstrate that the Far-Right are just as good (if not even better) at falling out and fragmenting as the Far-Left ever were. Once upon a time, there were three of us would (attempt to) flog the Socialist Worker (pronounced “Sooooo-Shlist Work-Ah!”) in Derby. If we'd only devoted a fraction of the energy to plotting against Thatcher that we spent planning one another's downfall, the Old Bag would've been finished by 1986.

The Boards will continue to be a useful resource for us. It's on there that the splits, the bickering, the petty squabbles and the (very) occasional useful lead are laid bare.

I think I'll rather just watch from the sidelines from now on, though...

Here Come The New Lot, Same As The Old Lot

The best thing about Anti Fascism is that it's never dull. Just as things look like they're getting boring and formulaic, something invariably turns up to jolly things along.

Attacking the BNP at the moment, for example, is getting a bit like going out to hunt kittens with a high-powered sniper rifle: The poor, bedraggled old fascists, soundly rejected by the very country they once dreamed of saving, led by the most inept bunch of criminals since the Ant Hill Mob and reduced to begging for pennies from their dwindling band of Supporters, are now the political equivalent of some drooling old wino going on at passers-by that “I'm a respected politician, you know...”

The EDL have settled into their predictable routine of delivering coachloads of hooligans to perfectly nice towns, like some horribly twisted courier service, who then charge around yelling and throwing things at anyone who isn't White before fishing out a suitably Asian spokesman to mumble something for the TV about how “we're not racist, honest.” Not only have they already had their cards marked by everyone from the Home Office to the Local Government Association, but they're about as well-loved and popular with the General Public as Heather Mills and George Osborne driving a Humvee at top speed through a busy children's playground. While playing the jingle from the “WE BUY ANY CAR DOT COM” advert at 200 decibels.

And now, along comes the British Freedom Party. The brainchild of a handful of disaffected ex-BNP stalwarts, it so far exists only as a registration form at the Electoral Commission and a shiny, bland logo above a (stock) photograph of a happy, smiling, multicultural crowd.

Giving an indication of the ineptitude and mayhem that may yet follow is the always-entertaining presence of self-styled guru of the Far-Right, dreadful novelist, worse poet, foul-mouthed blogger and “lawyer”, Lee John Barnes.

Starting a new party with Barnes as an integral part of it is a little like developing a new aircraft which incorporates Ryvita as a structural component. It probably isn't going to get very far.

Headed up by ex-BNP Organiser Peter Mullins and ex-BNP employee Michaela MacKenzie, the new outfit claims to be a “Civic Nationalist” party, who make much play of having a real accountant – John Savage (Please note: That's not the John Savage who had his legs cut off in The Deer Hunter) as their Treasurer, and a promise of ensuring greater financial probity that their last party. Although, next to the likes of Dowson and Griffin, a Pyramid Selling scheme run by Terry-Thomas would look a safe bet.

Predictably, the chatter has already begun on the Far-Right talkboards and chatrooms, with Griffin's trained apes attacking from one side (because it'll mean even fewer donors – sorry - “Supporters”), Butler's Reform Faction taking a different tack (claiming that people should still stick with the BNP because they'll run it one day, they really will) and even their own Supporters banging on about how they should never, under any circumstances, refer to the party by its acronym, because “BFP” is a bit too similar to “BNP”. This last one's a bit of a puzzler.

One might even suggest that someone could've thought that one through a bit more before it was too late.

Or maybe those in charge only noticed it when they proudly logged onto the Electoral Commission website and simultaneously clasped their hands to their foreheads and shouted “Doh!” as they saw it for the first time in black and white.

They are, of course, right; it is a bit similar. In fact, having checked this out with the Campaign for the Deacronymisation of Britain (the CDB), I can confirm that, even now, Anti-Fascists everywhere are preparing to chant “BFP! BNP! They Are All The Same To ME!” whenever they show their (strangely familiar) faces in public.

If they ever get that far.

They've already been nicknamed “Fluffy Fascists”. To judge from what has already appeared by way of “policy discussion” (courtesy of Barnes – and you won't be entirely surprised to learn that the first thing on their agenda is “Immigration”), they're just the same old Fascists the BNP ever were.

With a fluffy logo.

Breakfast of the Long Knives

“Someone must have been spreading lies about Josef K., for without having done anything wrong he was arrested one morning.”

Oh dear. Things continue to look bad for the Band of Brothers. This morning, the latest round of suspensions began, with Clive “Beria” Jefferson's latest legally dubious letter landing on the doormats of various BNP Members.

Names mentioned so far include Chris Roberts (London Organiser), Rowena Savage (Bromley Organiser), Bob Gertner (London elections officer), John Savage (South West fundholder), Julian Leppert and the fragrant Charlotte “I wish that Derrick Bird could have come down to London & shot dead some illegal immigrants” Lewis, along with “at least 20 others”.

Interestingly, all of those suspended are well-known activists and organisers, rather than Rank-and-File Members (or “plebs” as they're allegedly referred to by the Party Leadership).

Oh, and they share one other thing in common: It's the strangest coincidence, but they're all supporting Eddy Butler in the Leadership Contest!

Given that the letter and the resulting suspensions seem not only to run counter to natural law, but even the BNP's own ramshackle Constitution, it can surely only be a matter of time before someone decides to challenge the Kafkaesque goings-on at Head Office.

Although, the way things are going, the Party will have shut up shop and gone out of business long before it ever gets to court.

The Story is Developing...

A most uncivil war.

The last three months since the General Election have been a fascinating insight into how the BNP functions and it seems like each day since then there has been a major cock up, calamity or act committed under the BNPs and Griffins "interesting" idea of internal democracy.

Todays latest news is that Julian Leppert (former councillor), John Savage (S.W. Fundholder) and Chris Roberts (London Organiser) are amongst about 20 BNP activists at the latest count suspended today. They are being investigated for "serious breaches of the BNP code of conduct" after supporting Eddy Butlers leadership nomination.

With the nominations for leadership closing tomorrow one has to ask if Griffin is so worried about Butler getting close to the amount that he needs, is he purging the people who are Butlers most vocal supporters that can be identified from the various websites and fora?

The timing of the letters is a bit of a surprise with it being the day before the nominations close unless of course this is a total cock up by Griffin & Dowson enterprises and they should have arrived tomorrow.

Edit
This is the full list of the various suspensions including the members suspended over the last few weeks:-
Bob Gertner (London)
Charlotte Lewis (London)
Rowena Savage (London)
John Savage (South West)
Charlie Baillie (Scotland)
Simon Bennett (South West)
Mark Collett - expelled (Yorkshire)
Max Dunbar – resigned (Scotland)
Andrew Emerson (South East)
James Fitton (South West)
Robert Lassen – expelled (West Midlands))
Peter Lucas (South West)
Peter Mullins (South West)
Frank O’Brian - expelled (West Midlands)
Peter Phillips (South East)
Peter Squire (North West)
Peter Stafford (North West)
Richard Trower (South East)
Anthony Ward (North West)
Jeffrey Marshall (London)
Christine Mitchell (Eastern)
Simon Deacon – resigned (Eastern)
Chris Roberts (London)
Bob Gertner (London)
John Savage (South West)
Carl Whelpdale (North East)
Roy Jones (Scotland)
Shelley Rose (Eastern)
Julian Leppert (Eastern)
Lawrence Rustem (London)
Tony Avery (London)
Dennis Boater