The time has come, as a party of GREAT BRITISH PATRIOTS, to come to the aid of one of our number!
Mr DAVID LOONY, who stood as a candidate for Suffolk in the recent European election (that I WON), has been arrested and committed to trial on various TRUMPED – UP CHARGES by the LIBLABCON ELITE, following orders issued from the SECRET BUNKER of the CHIEF MARXIST RABBLEROUSER HIMSELF, David Cameron.
I have met the charming Mr Loony on several occasions. He has his eccentricities (he once introduced me to “my wife and my sister” - and there was only one woman there!), but they're GREAT, BRITISH eccentricities!
Mr Loony has, for many years, lived a quiet, simple life of farming, with his meagre income supplemented by a small business constructing and exporting fine, handcrafted, BRITISH, guillotines, gibbets, gallows and electric chairs to many of our most respected Commonwealth neighbours – Rhodesia, Liberia and Somalia among them.
HOW, I ask you, can this LOVEABLE, BIG – HEARTED, GREAT BRITISH PATRIOT, be harassed and hounded THROUGH THE COURTS, for doing NO MORE than holding A LOVE OF NATION within his STOUT YEOMAN HEART?!
That, and pursuing a HARMLESS PASTIME of collecting “firearms”.
Since WHEN, I ask you, has a gallows – manufacturing Suffolk farmer with a small collection of unregistered pistols, rifles and shotguns constituted a threat to ANYONE?!
The fact that Mr Loony also enjoys passing his time in the construction of ENTIRELY HARMLESS, NOVELTY, EXPLOSIVE DEVICES merely serves to underline the VICIOUS VICTIMISATION he is being subjected to!
In order to fight this, we need your money.
We need to raise SEVERAL THOUSAND POUNDS in order to pay for the finest legal defence – there are some cases that EVEN THE GREAT LEE BARNES LLB HONS would find difficult!
Send your money NOW to the “David Loony Fighting Fund”.
Make cheques payable to me, as it'll save time.
And I FAITHFULLY PLEDGE that we won't drop him like a hot spud if it all goes pear-shaped.
From the brilliant Not the blog of Nick Griffin MEP