"So exactly how many by-elections have you won, Clive?""Erm......"
Bugger. You preempted one I ws going to do for Norfolk Unity:Jefferson communications training at advanced levelGriffin: "Hello?"Jefferson: "It's me."
Hello.... Hello... Nick, can you hear me??The reception is rubbish around here!
DELLO NICK ITS ME CLIVE.Clive you fool your standing right next to me.ARR YES BUT WHERE ARE WE ? ALL I CAN SEE IS A DIRTY OLD RIVER AND A LARGE GERKIN.Clive have you been at them mushrooms again ?
No caption because this ocmment on a dissident bnp site commenting on that London meeting is funny in its own right, and also a little tragic."Its an utter disgrace, Griffin is acting like a bloody Fascist dictator"No? Really?
Nick must be onto Martin Webster..."Give me a ring Martin, Jefferson useless with his digits"
Jim Dowsons a bloody marvel look at the wonderful equipment he has secured from the BNPs technology fund
"Clive, when I said ring for a new emergency plan, I didn,t think you would ring Fireman Sam""Uggghhhh"
Clive: You mention a company vehicle, can you tell me more please?(pause)Clive: Yes, I can ride a bike.Nick: (pisses himself with laughter) I think you're just the man we've been looking for Mr. Jefferson, 'cos we're always on the lookout for dirty little plonkers like you!(Apologies to Only Fools and Horses)
Either,'This is your Windows service provider - there is a problem with your computer"or'There is a problem with your sky box'Both seem to be regular opening phrases from cold callers at the mo - both in the same kind of business as Gri££in who must be thinking of these as his next business venture once the BNP money train dries up!
NG: Clive have you arranged my fight booking to Spain with an extra two seats for minder Martin?CJ: Yeah Boss, everything's cosy.NG: Make sure that the meeting tonight is packed with plebs..err I mean my loyal supporters.CJ: Yeah Boss OK, incidentally Boss where are you ring me from?
Give us a donation Clive.Fuck off.
"I'll meet you down by the river, Clive.""Okay. Where's the river?""Jeez..."
Nick: "How come you've got the legs of a deformed kangaroo?"Clive: "Someone's gotta have them."It's the way I tell 'em.
"I'LL BE THERE IN A COUPLE OF MINUTES!!!"(The cry of the lesser-spotted mobile-using bustard)
Nick takes a call from an irate person demanding monies owed by the BNP.Jeferson can't use a mobile - he fools no one.
Nick: Yes Jim, I see what you mean by evolved to the prehensile digits phase and not any further.Jefferson is still not fooling anyone in to believing he can use a mobile.
Signal seems fine Clive....your wife wants to know if you've seen the remote for the dvd player.
At the new BNP state of the art open air call centre the race is on for employee of the month.
Nick: "How come you've got the legs of a deformed kangaroo?"Clive: "Someone's gotta have them."It's the way I tell 'em.Taking the mick out of disabled people is not funny. No matter who they are.
Nick: Did you get my text?Clive: What's a "text"?
"these hearing aids that Dowson bought us aint that good Nick"Dont be silly they are state of the art and only cost us 5k
'Taking the mick out of disabled people is not funny. No matter who they are.'Nobody here would take the piss out of anyone disabled. They're taking the piss because Jefferson the fitness freak has made himself look bizarre. I imagine the comment is referring to this picture.http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tBYna5z42J8/TF3zlBpEvjI/AAAAAAAACwA/NLit34c5QhM/s1600/ScannedImage.jpgOf course, everyone is also welcome to take the piss out of Jefferson because he's a) useless, b) stupid and c) a dodgy character with a highly unsavoury past, too.
NG "No you hang up"CJ/A "Nooooo you hang up"NG "No you hang up"CJ/A "Nooooo you hang up"NG "No you hang up"CJ/A "Nooooo you hang up"NG "No you hang up, or i'll suspend you"Worst idea for a picture to look like you're busy of the week!
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