August 11, 2010

The Patented Lancaster Unity All-Purpose Post-Nomination Analysis

(Delete Where Applicable)

So the Nominations are (a) in (b) lost (c) in a shredder somewhere, and it has been announced that (a) Nick Griffin will continue unopposed as Party Leader (b) Eddy Butler will be allowed to challenge for the Party Leadership (c) Richard Barnbrook will be allowed to challenge for the Party Leadership (d) Someone Who's Name Escapes Me At Present will be allowed to challenge for the Party Leadership.

Following his (a) successful (b) unsuccessful bid to make the ballot, Eddy Butler will be (a) celebrating with a fancy new haircut and a bottle of vintage Lambrini (b) thrown out of the Party with immediate effect, stricken entirely from Party History and burned in effigy each year as a stark warning to others.

Mr Griffin, meanwhile, will (a) prepare to launch an election campaign of such vituperative ferocity and inherent putrescence as to make the latter days of the Borgia Popes resemble a group of Quakers deciding Who's Going to Make Us All a Lovely Pot of Tea at the Friends' Meeting House (b) celebrate by asking his Members for an Especially Big Donation by way of giving thanks for his deliverance.

(Note: If Richard Barnbrook has been (a) successful (b) unsuccessful, he is likely to (a) celebrate with a drink or two (b) celebrate with a drink or two.)

As the BNP Membership prepare themselves for (a) their historic Leadership Election (b) another round of desperate appeals, (a) Party Staff (b) Griffin's Family at (a) HQ (b) Welshpool will be preparing for the forthcoming activities by (a) becoming acquainted with every aspect of electoral law (b) re-reading Machiavelli's “The Prince” (Ladybird edition) (c) wondering if four days is a long enough interval between Appeals For Donations.

Whether or not there is to be a Leadership Election, of one thing we can, at least, be certain: That Griffin will (a) accept the result with good grace (and launch a new wave of Urgent Appeals for Donations) (b) fight the dirtiest campaign since the days of Tammany Hall and quickly come to resemble a one-eyed rottweiller crossed with a poison-throwing machine (before launching a new wave of Urgent Appeals for Donations) (c) go on holiday (and launch a new wave of Urgent Appeals for Donations).

Of one thing, we can be sure. The BNP, as an effective political force for the Far-Right, are (a) doomed (b) doomed (c) doomed.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you have successfully covered all the bases and should now just sit back have a cup of tea and a choccy biscuit and collect your winnings on the LU sweepstake

well done (why didnt I think of that)??????

tulip

Anonymous said...

Or they could all sue for unlawfull suspension and use the money to regroup wih a new leader. They have all taken advice on this, and not I must add from Barnes. Butler didn't expect to win, it was just the start. And no, I'm not a member or suporter, but my neighbour most definately is.

Ben Trunch said...

Well,30 minutes have now passed since the time specified for the announcement. Another BNP cock-up, bit like the General Election, accounts, membership list, Marmite, etc, etc...

John P said...

The counting has started

Anonymous said...

Cant we open our arms and welcome those who wish to leave the sinking S.S.bnp ship as it dips below the waves.
Sarah.

Anonymous said...

Just picked up that Butler has enough nominations and there will be an election

true or false?

tulip

Anonymous said...

"Just picked up that Butler has enough nominations and there will be an election"

If there is then it will have to reach the mainstream press and they'll be forced to report it.

This will be the first that many ill-informed and adrift BNP members will have heard of it. The majority are clueless as to what's going on in their party. Remember that many are elderly, fairly inactive and don't have internet access.

unplugged from the matrix said...

This will be the first that many ill-informed and adrift BNP members will have heard of it. The majority are clueless as to what's going on in their party. Remember that many are elderly, fairly inactive and don't have internet access.

You make an excellent point. Unless your on the internet you dont really get the full effect of what Griffin is. The press never 'for some reason' go for the throat. The BBC could destroy him if they so wished [theres so much evidence] SO WHY DONT THEY.
I dont do conspiracy's but I really am starting to believe hes a useful idiot for the state

Anonymous said...

anon @ 3.52 yep, you are correct thats why I put the ? I had just picked up that info from Democracy Forum, which to be fair is not reliable.

tulip

AndyMinion said...

@ Tulip

That is, indeed, a)true b)false.

AndyMinion said...

Butler's Blog:

Griffin 971
Butler 214
Barnbrook 23
Adams 4
Spoilt 7

Personally, a great result as far as I'm concerned. Roll on the grisly death throes!

(And you'll note my post predicted EXACTLY this outcome. The used to call me "Psychic" at school. Among other things.)

iliacus said...

John P said :

"The counting has started"

Iliacus says:

Can you imagine how it's going?

Right, one for Griffin; one for Butler; one for Griffin; Barnbrook; Butler; Griffin; Griffin; Griffin; Butler ... so that's ... er ... four for Griffin, three for Butler

So that's three-four for Butler? That's thirty-four?

And four-four for Griffin ...

So that's four hundred and forty four for Griffin

Griffin 4,444 ; Butler 34

And Barnbrook three?

Pints is that?

Anonymous said...

What happens now then? is the summer of fun over?

tulip