November 13, 2010

An Urgent Appeal From Lancaster Unity! (Because if Cyclops is still at it, I don't see why I shouldn't give it a punt as well...)

Fellow Patriots;

These are, indeed, dark days for Lancaster Unity. The threat of the BNP grows stronger every day, as they steamroller their way to one electoral victory after another, guided by the brilliant political strategies and wise leadership of their charismatic Chairman, Nick Griffin.

There is a very real threat that, at the next European Elections, the BNP will take EVERY SEAT and could easily follow this by SWEEPING TO POWER in Britain at the next General Election.

All that stands in their way are the occasionally amusing, but more often rambling and incoherent, articles on this blog by me - Andy Minion.

Currently produced, by hand, on a cumbersome and slow laptop that still runs Windows Vista, for Christ's sake; just imagine how much more effectively the fight against the POLITICAL JUGGERNAUT that is the BNP would be conducted if I were to have THE LATEST TABLET TECHNOLOGY at my disposal, the 64 Gigabyte iPad, with its 9.7-inch, high-resolution LED-backlit IPS display and incredible Multi-Touch capability, and its thousands of Apps available from the iTunes App Store.


Obviously, I don't mind continuing to produce my Posts on this antiquated laptop, but just imagine how the assorted Nazis, Racists, Nationalists and Enemies of Our Country would QUAIL if they knew that I was now able to submit my pieces using the POWERFUL 3G CAPABILITIES of the 64 Gigabyte iPad!


Picture, for a moment, how the enemies of our long-fought freedoms would SHUDDER at the thought that I will also be able to download MOVIES, FAVOURITE TV SHOWS and THOUSANDS OF TUNES, as well as being able to play THOUSANDS OF GAMES on my new, personally engraved, 64 Gigabyte iPad.


I understand that this is a bad time of year to be asking for donations, but, as you can see, this REALLY IS VITAL TO THE CONTINUATION OF OUR STRUGGLE. Also, my Wife refuses to let me buy one for myself, dismissing the GOOD OF HER NATION with the offhand, and, frankly, ill-considered remark that “It's just another techie fad. It's the boy's equivalent of a Breadmaker...”

If our struggle is to continue, I need an iPad by the morning of December 25th.

I cannot be held responsible for the future of OUR GREAT COUNTRY if I don't get one.

Thank You,

Andy Minion


Anonymous said...

I dont have any spare dosh, but I can send some old Elvis long player records.
Club Foot.

Anonymous said...

My donation on the way. I am also going to set up a website called 'green apple', fill it with adoring articles written by apple groupies and push your campaign.
I suggest all kinsmen join me.

Anonymous said...

While I do agree with your good lady re the breadmaker, mine has been hijacked by his lordship who is convinced that only men are good bakers.

My Christmas donation is on its way, WHY? you may ask, I just hate to see grown men cry, especially those who have not grown out of the belief in Santa


Kev Scott loves The Jam said...

Dear Andy, god bless our nation for having such brave men who are able to STAND UP TO the hordes of NATIONALIST THUGS taking over our country, taking all of our benefits (and cheap lager and strong cider) and CONTRIBUTING NOTHING.

I am but a poor pensioner, but I will happily donate ALL of it SO THAT THE HEROIC STRUGGLE can continue...

You should consider setting up a premium rate text number so that all of our fellow lefties with iphones can spend all of their hard earned money on you too.


etc etc etc

Mrs Brady Old Lady

ps... who do I make the postal order out to?
Is it the Can Andy Scam his Homies campaign.... C.A.S.H

Antifascist said...

What about MY iPad?

B. B. Sea said...

Nice pisstake Andy! :)

Ben Trunch said...

The "Donate Now" link seems to be broken and the "fuel gauge" has hardly moved! Shirley shome pisstake?

Anonymous said...

'green apple'

Reminds me of the Apple Front in Germany which pokes fun at neo-Nazis.

Saw them on this TV show!

Anonymous said...

Your ad is crap - none of the CLICK HERE TO DONATE links work :-)

How do you expect to milk us fools (surely "receive donations towards your struggle against MI5, LBW, B&Q, etc) with such a poor grasp of modern fundraising? If only there was a proven expert out there who you could ask to cast an eye (one one eye necessary) over your operation.......


Anonymous said...

I note the collection has not moved from £4 odd despite all the money sent in. Is there an industry expert advising you?

Wes said...

You need a fundraising centre, I hear theres one just become available in NI!

anarchist said...

Why make a blog post? Isn't there an app for that?

AndyMinion said...

Thankyou for your touching messages of support.

Regrettably, in the absence of an Industry Expert, the Appeal has had to be abandoned after failing to reach the required target.

I shall, however, be putting the £4.17 raised to good use by purchasing (for the Cause) a pint of Addleston's and a bag of nuts.

Anonymous said...

I will give you a £100 with my thanks andy, if on a rainy day a puddle you shod need to cross, then at least let me lay down across it, for what you are doing for my old Brittain, it would be with pride i lay down for you, as so you can cross and continue on your path to victory ovar the nazies, god bless you andy monion god bless you

Anonymous said...

i did not no that the apeal was ovar. can i get my £100 pounds back
god bless you andy