March 11, 2011

Go On Denise - PLEASE Let Me Call It "Kebabgate"...


Now there's a Celebrity Endorsement you could live without...

In the heyday of British Variety there was a perennial bottom-of-the-bill known only as “He Can Take Any Punishment!”

For almost thirty years, this mysterious masked man would invite members of the audience to punch, slap, kick, gouge, scratch and generally abuse him while he remained entirely impassive. And whistled a merry tune. For ten minutes, twice nightly.

It was truly a Golden Age of family entertainment, right?

Today, the only people you'll ever come across with such a capacity for relentless punishment are the BNP Faithful.

They'll happily take whatever is dished out to them. Lied to. Ripped off. Kept in the dark. Lied to again. Told to hand over even more of their money. Suspended on a whim. Lied to yet again (but really badly this time). Driven to the nearest cashpoint and ordered to hand over their PIN number. Expelled.

And still they just stand there and take it. Whistling.

It seems there's nothing left for their Party Leaders to try that will actually annoy these people.

But now, Griffin has managed it.

What's he done? Has he finally lost it and mugged a pensioner? Kicked a kitten? Announced that he's joining Nation of Islam and wishes to be known henceforth as Brother Nicholas X?

No. Last night – I'm sorry to report – Mr Nicholas Montgomery Falstaff Churchill Bader Griffin, MEP, Tweeted that he'd bought a kebab.

The reaction from his Facebook Chums was immediate, confused and seismic.

A “Chris Spring” set the ball rolling with “...what? Kebab shop that serves HALAL?”

“Jackie Dunn” was swift to register her dismay. “not a kebab surely???”

And “Charlie White” spoke for many: “Standards r slippin nick”. (Of English, Charlie?)

“Terry Fleming”, riding to the rescue armed with a potential Get Out Of Jail Card for his Leader, opines “Kebab ??? Have you been fraped or what?” (“Frape”, for anyone over 16, is “Facebook Rape” - someone else posting things on your Facebook or Twitter account after you've forgotten to log out.)

But Nick doesn't bite - (He's already coping with a mouthful of delicious, spicy, mechanically recovered connective tissue, remember) – and things quickly escalate.

“your a bawbag if you go into kebab shops,why don,t you quit right now.” says “Neil Mcivor”.

The idea of anyone on his Facebook list calling openly for the Dear Leader to quit is unprecedented. The fact that someone would actually call him a “bawbag” to his face(book) has to be up there with Old Testament miracles.

And no. I don't know what a “bawbag” is. I bet it's horrid, though.

“We should be asking nick if it was halal meet?? So nick, was it?” asks Charlie; clearly hoping against hope that it isn't true.

So was it, Nick? Your Membership demand to be told!

The Accounts? They're not bothered! IRA Supporters on the Party Payroll? Pish! The mysterious disappearing Truth Truck? Who cares! Two years without a win? A mere detail! The Party disintegrating faster than a Lego hand grenade?

No-one could care less.

But say you fancy a Doner and you could have the Membership storming Welshpool like the Winter Palace. (Or possibly - given Griffin's lifestyle and manner - more like Peter Ustinov getting his come-uppance in “Quo Vadis”.)

Best stick to Pie and Mash (Double. With extra Liquor.) in future...


Edit
As a few of the comments have been deleted from Griffin's Facebook page, here is a screengrab I took last night.
imagebam.com

21 comments:

NewsHound said...

BREAKING NEWS: FAR RIGHT RACIST FROM LINCOLN GVEN TEN YEAR CRASBO: -

http://www.thisislincolnshire.co.uk/news/Far-right-racist-gets-10-year-Crasbo/article-3318576-detail/article.html

Anonymous said...

This has all been debated and discussed on the Democracy Forum and the conclusion seems to be that it was okay as long as it was a Greek kebab and not a Turkish kebab.

Anonymous said...

A 'bawbag' is a ballbag or scrotum in your sassenach parlance. ;)

toni said...

The BNPEDL's racism is an unhealthy cultish obcession that controls their pathetic little lives.

Anonymous said...

A 'bawbag' is a ballbag or scrotum in your sassenach parlance. ;)

Anonymous said...

Andy... classic contribution as usual

Anonymous said...

The Urban Dictionary defines a "bawbag" as:

Glasgow, Scotland origin, derogitary [sic] name given to one who is annoying, useless or just plain stupid. To compare one with such an ugly part of the male anatomy [the scrotum, apparently] should be insult enough...

Source: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bawbag

Still, I'm sure as he posts this picture up on his Facebook then all will be forgiven (by the thick BNP membership): http://www.bypassfanpages.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/223587943-272x300.jpg

AndyMinion said...

Thanks for the "bawbag" definition, folks.

My education is broader than it was half an hour ago.

Noticed, by the way, that Griffin has now got rid of a couple of the strongest comments on FB.

Who says the Leadership never act?

was once bnp said...

When I used to do security for the fat fuck, he’d literally go crazy unless he’d get his fix of junk food before a meeting or just after. His gut rules him, and the hypocrite couldn’t care less where it came from or who is serving it. All this bollocks he spews about supporting local businesses/not supporting Islam/the evils of halal/being an example to our young by staying fit, blah blah blah. ‘Nationalism’ is just a vehicle for his greed. I’ve watched members storm off as old fatty boy waited in a kebab shop with the security team outside engines running (kebabs are his favourite fix). This was and still is a very regular occurrence. I can only stress my shame at ever supporting such a loathsome prick.
Ps I like kebabs, but I spend 4 evening a week in a gym. Give that a try gri££in you tub of goo.

Anonymous said...

It's laugharama with the BNP again..

Anonymous said...

Where's Tulip? During the shenanigans in the summer months she kept us entertained whilst enjoying choc ices.
What's it this time Tulip? Cadbury's Cream Eggs?

John P said...

AndyMinion said...

Thanks for the "bawbag" definition, folks.

My education is broader than it was half an hour ago.

Noticed, by the way, that Griffin has now got rid of a couple of the strongest comments on FB.

Who says the Leadership never act?

I'll put up the screengrab I took last night and add it to the bottom of the article.

Anonymous said...

When I used to do security for the fat fuck, he’d literally go crazy unless he’d get his fix of junk food before a meeting or just after.

The thought of all that heart-attack inducing cholesterol building up in Nick's arteries is very sad, eh?

At this rate he won't make 60 and won't in able to enjoy much of his retirement in Croatia.

Feed my Leader said...

I didn't realise my Leader had set up a retirement fund.

Is there somewhere I can donate?

Anonymous said...

No worries. Once the fat-bellied delluded cyclops has fleeced the final penny off the gullible blind sheep that follow him, he can retire to his condo in Islamic Dubai and gorge on all the halal meat and kebabs that he desires. Shame Simon Darby didn't take a photo of the kebab and put it on his personal blog.

Anonymous said...

For your information Donna Kebabs were invented by the Knights Templar sometime between the first and second crusades and their popularity soon spread throughout the Holy Land. I developed a taste for this ancient British energy food whilst InterRailing round Libya with Patrick Harrington in the late 1980s.

Yours sincerely,

Nicolas Horatio Lionheart Pendragon Griffin MEP

Anonymous said...

You mean there are a few people in the BNP intelligent enough to realise that kebabs aren't British in origin?

This has been a real revelation...

Anonymous said...

Donna Kebabs?

Really Nicolas Horatio Lionheart Pendragon Griffin MEP?

I think you are confusing Donna Griffiths (the strangely multi-cultural supporting lady that is 51Mon Darby's long term partner) with doner of the skewed meat fame. I thought the Grand Master had a greater understanding of all things in the spelling department. How standards have slipped in the Fuhrer's bunker!

Anonymous said...

I remember Ian Christie (Old Knight)in his capacity as authoritarian Stormfront 'Untersturmfuhrer' raging against the dreaded 'ethnic' curry. His stance was that anyone who indulged in asian cuisine was a 'race traitor'.

Personally, I'd like to see the fat bastard eat more shellfish in the hope that he gets gout!

@ 'was once bnp said'

Thanks for the 'griffo' insights. Keep 'em coming. Are you still a 'nationalist'? Word to the wise, many of us antis aren't 'reds'. I voted conservative last May (although I'm an enthusiastic 'race traitor'!)

Anonymous said...

I'd rather chew down on that old manky kebab than chew down on Jackie.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said "Thanks for the 'griffo' insights. Keep 'em coming. Are you still a 'nationalist'? Word to the wise, many of us antis aren't 'reds'. I voted conservative last May (although I'm an enthusiastic 'race traitor'!)"

Class traitor too, eh? ;)