October 21, 2010

Stirring Tales Of The British Resistance! Another installment of our thrilling new serial!

Episode Three: Dark Days for the Resistance

“Here's another one!” said “Bertie” Berk, listening to the hissing static of the precious crystal radio in the Nantyglo safehouse.

The stalwart Batman and sidekick of dashing Resistance Operative Agent Arrow looked concerned.

“Looks grim, Old Chum”, he said, lowering the bakelite headphone. “Yet another report of strange goings-on at HQ”.

Agent Arrow strirred himself from his light doze. “Oh, God...” he groaned, taking another swig from his Brasso ,Turps and Night Nurse stiffener. With the new revelations of untoward goings-on at HQ coming in on an almost daily basis now, Arrow was finding it hard to remain committed to the Resistance Cause.

“Says that Agent Cyclops has been caught out again. This time it's a fiddle involving ration cards. Offering Fourpence in the Shilling to settle outstanding bills.”

Arrow didn't want to hear any more. Agent Cyclops: the most respected Resistance Leader the Nation had ever known – reduced to such tactics? It was scarcely believable. Agent Cyclops: The virile young Freedom Fighter whom Arrow had first seen on that glorious, sun-kissed day so many years earlier, absent-mindedly brushing back a lock of his tousled hair as he gently, but firmly, took hold of an elderly Supporter's pen, helpfully and forcefully guiding it as she wrote a cheque for the Resistance. “Just make it out to cash!”, the heroic Leader had playfully joshed, before merrily tearing the cheque from the Follower's hand and putting it in his wallet. How Arrow had wished they could be alone together. Just once. How he'd wished Agent Cyclops would take him in his sinewy, muscular arms...

“You alright, Old Chap? Interrupted Berk; “Went a bit flushed there, Kinsman!”

Agent Arrow lit a shredded cardboard, carpet fluff and dandelion cigarette and brought his unique, incisive grasp of the Sinister Ways Of The Searchlight-Controlled State to bear on the matter.

“You're so trusting!” he told Berk; “Can't you see it's more black propaganda and smears from Gable?”

The hated Gerry Gable – Commissar of the all-pervasive Searchlight Directorate and the true power behind the State. This was, Agent Arrow had to keep reassuring himself, nothing more than the latest in the unending series of devious ploys to distract the heroes of the Resistance from their true, holy course - nothing less than wresting their benighted Nation from the clutches of a loathed regime that had allowed coloured newsreaders to appear without dinner jackets on the BBC, a Hit Parade consisting largely of discs by young people of all ethnicities under the age of fifty, and the true, nerve-shredding horror of some vile alien muck called “Chicken Tikka” used as a pizza topping.

“Guess so.” said Berk, sounding unconvinced. “Just that we're getting these reports from our comrades in the Resistance. More and more. Every day! And still no word from HQ!”

“Steady the buffs, Kinsman!” snapped Arrow. “It could be that other Resistance Cells have been infiltrated by Searchlight – we might be the only True Believers left!”

Berk nodded, taking Arrow's sage words on board. “Just wait: We'll hear from HQ and we'll know that Cyclops is as sturdy, committed and stalwart a Leader as ever!”

As if by way of punctuation, the radio crackled into life.

“It's HQ!” Berk ejaculated.

Excitedly, Agent Arrow launched himself the length of the shed and clasped the headphone to his ear, poised with a notepad and stub of pencil to take down the vital message from Agent Cyclops.

Slowly, Berk noticed Arrow's expression change. He stopped writing. His initial, near-feverish anticipation turned, over the ensuing moments, to resigned gloom.

Arrow slowly replaced the headset and switched the crystal set off.

Silently, he passed the notepad to “Bertie” Berk as he poured himself another snifter.

“We need your donat...” it said.

Berk joined his valiant comrade in a glass of the murky liquid.


Anonymous said...

Excellent Article.

The "Green Arrow" has been kicked into touch by the South East, Wales and Yorkshire due to his sick manner of leeching from peoples wallets. The guy must make big money off of his minions, to be able to drink smoke and bitch all day.

Donate Donate Donate..... To his Paypal account lol.

Anonymous said...

Bravo Herr Minion!

Anonymous said...

Tee Hee! Ex BNP!

Brit-Nat said...

Another enjoyable instalment. More please.

SA said...

Brilliant" :D

Anonymous said...

Cracking stuff. Looking forward to the next episode here....

ken red said...

Sorry I posted this earlier in the wrong place!
The "fluffy fascists" could be the death blow to Griffins Nazi party because he has ordered his attack dogs to invad the british democracy forum to get it closed down which the moderators have spotted.
Griffin is taking the fluffies so seriously that even senior official and his pal Paul Golding has been on there to attack the "fluffies."


NewsHound said...



Ben Trunch said...

Has anyone else spotted that the BNP are seeking to appoint a supplier of "professional fundraising/development strategies" for the next few years.

Jim Dowson up for renewal?

"The successful firm/individual will be expected to develop and implement a comprehensive programme of communications to maximise net income from existing donors and maximise the lifetime value of them as well as securing new donors and legacies."

Surely an opportunity to milk all the sheeple who have signed the BNP's phoney petition against the Afghan War?


Anonymous said...

I know this may sound awful, and I apologise if anyone gets upset, or if the mod decides to remove.

The other evening was watching a documentary on tv about the impact a train jumper has on the lives of those caught up in it, ie the train driver, witnesses, the family etc.

The wife of the jumper was saying she could not understand why her hubby had jumped, he was she said the life and soul of the party, and showed a video to prove it, well bugger me the man in the video was the spitting image of the Green Arrow, hat and clothes the same, I nearly fell off me chair, I showed him in doors the pic of Greenarse and he agreed.

I do wonder if the poor woman is living on in sadness, when her hubby is really boiling larger dregs in a caravan in pantyglo.


Anonymous said...

The latest video masterpiece from the sparrows: