January 30, 2010

The snowball that rolled into Hell, and other notes on mental health

The announcement of Mark Collett's candidature in the Sheffield Brightside and Hillsborough seat was greeted with a mixture of incredulity and amusement on the part of fascists and anti-fascists everywhere this week, nobody being quite able to believe that Nick Griffin had sent in a Nazi Boy to do an Aryan hero's job.

Allowing Collett to stand anywhere, given the amount of self-generated dirt he has accumulated over the years, seems at best foolhardy and at worst somebody's idea of sick joke. If ever there was a sitting duck candidate with a very large bull's eye painted on his backside, Collett is assuredly that candidate

Prone to giving barely comprehensible speeches that cause BNP meetings to turn into mass sleepathons, Collett is so widely disliked on the far right we've been hearing persistent rumours that his own shadow is seeking a legal separation.

The Nazi Boy, with Sheffield connections so tenuous even the most powerful electron microscope would have difficulty picking them out, declaims that "the BNP is the only viable option in Brightside and Hillsborough", where Collett will attempt to unseat cow dodging roué David Blunkett - an event so unlikely that as yet undiscovered tribes in the Amazon jungle have inadvertently wiped themselves out as they died splitting their sides on hearing the news.

Collett thinks it's most unsporting that people will keep raking up memories of his solo tour de force in the Young, Nazi and Proud documentary, saying "The issues have moved on and people aren't interested in what I may have said or not said seven or eight years ago."

If only that were true, but the bad news for the Nazi Boy is that Sheffield people are deeply interested in what he did say back in 2002, being a number of absorbing Collettian theories and observations along the lines of Churchill bad, Hitler good, and the Sheffield Telegraph has dug out a whole slew of former BNP voters who would rather not have a mumbling Hitler fan barely out of short trousers going off to tell the Commons what a c*nt Churchill was:
One reader from Rotherham said: "I am a BNP supporter – I have been for the last couple of years and I am not ashamed to admit it either – but I am glad I have not stayed in Sheffield if this is the sort of man we will have standing for the next election."

A Crystal Peaks resident said: "I have voted BNP before but I won't do again if this individual is standing in the Sheffield area. His views of Hitler are wrong, and he is not a local person so how can he know what the voters round here want?"

A Sheffield man said: "I would vote for anyone against Blunkett – but the BNP have shot themselves in the foot here. They should have had someone local with knowledge of local problems. Not this man.
Putting Mark Collett up for election must have seemed like a good idea to somebody, somewhere, sometime, but setting his GPS for Sheffield and sending him down the M1 to certain humiliation at the hands of, well, just about everybody, really, is of the same order as rolling a snowball into Hell with expectations of growing it into a polar ice-cap. That somebody either has a very nice sense of humour or the finely honed political instincts of a mildew spore.

Little Bob Bailey Blues

Of course, the master strategist behind the Nazi Boy's candidature might have been in a condition of deep inebriation when inspiration struck, inebriation being so much favoured among BNP celebrities there are suspicions that some of their number were once perfectly normal people who one night popped into the local for a quick half, got in with the wrong company, and lurched out many hours later clutching titles like BNP Member of the Greater London Assembly and Leader of the BNP Opposition on Barking and Dagenham Council, while nurturing serious alcohol problems.

Bob Bailey, or "Little Bob" as he is known to his affectionate anti-fascist fans, is no stranger to the odd pint or two, followed by another odd pint or two, the diminutive but very human-like semi-professional drinker currently serving out an 18 month driving ban after refusing a breath test when the police caught him driving without lights.

It was at night, too, which only made things worse in the eyes of the boys in blue, but Little Bob wasn't fooled for a moment, claiming his arrest and prosecution were part of "a conspiracy against me, my party and the indigenous people of this country", thus introducing us to the novel concept of the politically motivated driving offence, pootling about Romford without lights and refusing to blow into the bag presumably counting as acts of patriotic defiance against the ever-watchful eyes of whoever it is who ever watches Little Bob.

A court appointed doctor was tasked with the fearful mission of appraising Little Bob's state of mind, and the news wasn't good. The heroic medic said that Barking and Dagenham Council's Leader of the Opposition suffered a "possible personality disorder" which made him suspicious of police officers, a condition more commonly associated with burglars, deserting BNP servicemen who maintain dodgy Facebook pages, the inhabitants of the VNN England forum, and other B-list members of the Crimewatch supporting cast.

The man was "paranoid", said the doctor.

With their friend's health at such a fragile pass it might be thought that those around Little Bob, those who love him, care for him, and steady him when he wobbles, would tread carefully lest they pushed the newly-coined pedestrian over the edge, but poor Bob discovered that the BNP's leadership has no more care for him than it has for a Haitian earthquake victim - for, as he loudly moaned, nobody told him that Dicky Barnbrook's displacement as the BNP's Barking candidate by a carpet-bagging Nick Griffin meant his own demotion from Leader to Deputy Leader of the BNP group on Barking and Dagenham Council, in favour of fellow Bacchanalian Barnbrook.

"They are not telling me anything anymore," gloomed Little Bob when asked who was going to stand against Jon Cruddas in Dagenham, a candidacy he thought was his.

There are probably too many Barnbrooks in London to go around, if you ask Bob Bailey, the cruel irony being that one of the things they weren't telling the little chap was that yet another Barnbrook had been slotted into the Dagenham sinecure.

This is Michael Barnbrook, apparently no relation to his brown-suited namesake, the "sleeze-buster" (sic) who has allegedly (according to the BNP) "exposed more corrupt politicians in Westminster than any other person". How the BNP's latest superhero accomplished these feats of detection we cannot fathom, since, like everybody else, we were forced to rely on the almost hourly revelations coming from the Daily Telegraph. Where Barnbrook got his information from has us stumped, and no mistake. It's a real puzzle, as Martin Reynolds might say when working out which shoe goes on which foot.

The announcement of Michael Barnbrook's candidature naturally brought forth the praises of the BNP's online army of well-wishers and bad spellers, a curiously naive bunch positively swooning at the "sensational" news in a treacly gush of sickly-sweet messages predicated on the apparent certainty that the "sleeze" busting nemesis of 150 corrupt MPs will consign Jon Cruddas to deserved oblivion.

Amid all the masturbatory glee and mountains of discarded tissue paper however stands the forlorn figure of poor Little Bob Bailey, ill-used, smarting over the final words of the BNP announcement - a flat statement that Richard Barnbrook is "the prospective BNP leader of Barking and Dagenham Council".

How that must cut to the very marrow of one who has served the cause of the BNP and alcohol consumption so unswervingly as Little Bob.

And if the man is down in his cups, who can blame him if he reaches for the bottle a little more often than is usual? Who can blame him if he turns up to greet Sir Trevor Brooking and the Royal Anglian Regiment "a little worse for wear", "under the influence" and "in no fit state" at a showcase Barking and Dagenham event?

Certainly not erstwhile friend Richard Barnbrook, so recently told to "shut up" by Bailey at a council meeting.

Gallantly, Barnbrook told reporters that "in my presence he seemed perfectly fine" - but then, since Barnbrook spends so much of his own life under the influence, he would, wouldn't he?


StandUpToHateAdmin said...

excellent post

Anonymous said...

The BNP website says of Michael Barnbrook:
"Since joining the party he has stood in 2 council elections and has been selected as our prospective parliamentary candidate for Old Bexley and Sidcup in the next General Election, which, fittingly enough, is Derek Conway’s old constituency.

Anonymous said...

The BNP have only had 2 councillors elected in South Yorkshire and one of those has defected. Sending Collett in should ensure that they have already peaked. On the Sheffield Star's website posts about Collett, the BNP have already resorted to arguing that Hitler was okay before the war and only went over the top after 1939. This desperation is an attempt to pacify those outraged by Collett's views on the Fuhrer. So the BNP themselves are having to discuss Hitler in relation to Collett. Such inept tactics will give S Yorks anti-fascists years of good propaganda.

Anonymous said...

as someone else just do a leaflet witha still showing Collett in drag (vidoe of pondlife 'song') with aheading he wants to be your mp!

Chuck in his Churchill was a cXXX, hitler was great - and we could see the worst ever bnp vote of all time.

And to think this collett gave a lecture at one rwb about the importance of "image".

laugh? I nearly joined the EDL

Landale said...

Well done, a beautiful post!! :-)

Anonymous said...

if it doesnt matter what someone says years ago why do bnp use old quoes from Straw, Hague, Howard and loads of others.

What matters is have Collets views changed?

Anonymous said...

Brilliant, absolutely chuffing brilliant.


Anonymous said...

I never thought I would say this but"that was a good story".
I really do beleive the bnp are in self destruct mode. Tina wingfeild standing for salford, standing against corrupt career politicians . a few weeks after there own fraudulant expenses were leaked.
clive jefferson standing for copeland,with his seemingly well known criminal background.
Nick griffin [lives in wales mep in NW and now standing in the south].
Mark collett as you have allready stated.
My god have they been bought out and told destroy the party. whos gonna stand next .peter sutcliffe for yorkshire,
An ex bnp voter

Anonymous said...


What a bloody hypocrite.

Anonymous said...

Check out this clip.

Molloy is wearing a Blazer badge and tie of the Kings (Liverpool) Regiment.

The two medals are the Gulf War (1991) and the General Service medal

The Kings were not in the Gulf War.
I'm not accusing anyone of anything but the two don't agree


(Thanks to Frankie for the tip off)!!

Former BNP member said...

"I never thought I would say this but"that was a good story"."

Totally agree, Keltan et al might not like this but it is not the actions of anti-BNPers who will destroy the BNP, Griffin has done it himself. In theory a radical alternative party should do well; we have a crippling recession which is still far from over, high unemployment which is always a factor for blaming migrants, an unpopular war in Afghanistan, contempt for politicans of both mainstream parties following expenses scandal so why isnt the BNP winning council seats and hammering on the doors of Westminster? Answer personal greed, incompetence, allowing some very unsavoury characters to have important posts, tolerate criminals, etc etc. All self-destruct stuff......

Hexapla said...

Extremely well written article. The BNP and the like are ripe for parody and ridicule, and these are some of the best ways to expose and refute their putrid fascism and racism.

Anonymous said...


What a bloody hypocrite.

Reall? So I assume you know that they're all doing the same jobs? If they're not comparisons are meaningless. Take an accountant say and a secretary and compare to two secretaries...hey presto, you have a 'story'.

Jamie The Antifascist said...



Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

In these terrible economic and political times the BNP should be doing a lot better than they actually are. Everything seems tailor-made for them at present.

Thankfully they are, organisationally, a bunch of incompetents and while they possess a few talented cadre, their numbers are mercifully small and many leave after a while. Thankfully they can't seem to turn their million-odd voters into members.

Anonymous said...

The fact that Griffin holds Collett in such high regard probably has a lot to do with loyalty, something he seems to put a lot of stock in. Mosely too would stick by several unsavoury characters purely because they were loyal.

That doesn't change the fact that Collett seems to be a complete moron. Witness the now infamous 'Ashley Cole' interview with the BBC last year. I was a bit disapointed that the main focus was on the performance of the interviewer and not on what Collett uttered. He tried to illustrate his opposition to miscegenation by bringing in some half-arsed and bizzare analogy with 'pandas, lions and sparrows' and the possibility, contrary to fact, of them mating and producing young. Collett seems to have gone from a Nazi moron to just a plain moron!

Anonymous said...

How the BNP's latest superhero accomplished these feats of detection we cannot fathom, since, like everybody else,

At the last count he has uncovered nine MPs expenses. He started with Dereck Conway. That of course was the start of this massive operation. Apparently he hasn't finished yet either. He is mustard.

ken red said...

Griffin is under attack on forums from british democracy forum to stormfront for picking Collett to fight Blunkett in Sheffield.
The bdf think this proves their nazis but stormfront think it is done to stop the bnp progressing.
If the nazis are beaten the BNP could be an even bigger threat under nationalists with no baggage.

Barbara said...

How serious is the evidence that the BNP is a lightning rod for discontent, supported by the government?
I can think of no other explaation for its existence.

Sputnik said...

'pandas, lions and sparrows' and the possibility, contrary to fact, of them mating and producing young.

Yes, I remember that he said he would extremely upset if there was no more sparrows left...

Anonymous said...

Griffin's ultimate loyalty is to himself. He'll have done a deal with the state whereby if he rolls the BNP into the knacker's yard he'll get a nice pay-off so he can set up his Valhalla compound in Croatia when his MEP term expires. I can't think of any other reason to send Collett to Sheffield other than insanity although both reasons may be factors.

binny said...

"If the nazis are beaten the BNP could be an even bigger threat under nationalists with no baggage"......

The neo-Nazi street-fighting EDL when they ditch the football hooligans and street protests and become a proper political party to contest elections.

Anonymous said...

I was fucking Griffin at the time OK! we were lovers for eight long hard years!

Mark C.