A throwaway piece to keep you happy while we set to on weightier matters...
Have you ever watched one of those crime documentaries which pad out the time by including contributions from "criminal psychologists", who, when asked a question, suck in their breath, set a frown into their foreheads, make a slight sniff and snitch of the nose, and thus posed as if expending great quantities of deductive brain power upon a particularly intractable problem then proceed to state what is blindingly obvious to 99.9% of the viewers and their cats?
Listening to new BNP elections supremo Clive Jefferson, one has the impression that he may have once read a Sun cut-out-and-keep guide to the psychology of running a good election campaign, but has forgotten all the big words.
Watching him is akin to watching a tall pile of not-quite-set jelly gently swaying in a high wind. The man is congenitally motive, even when stationary. The eyes swivel this way and that, followed by the head, as though he were anxiously following the flight path of a wasp that had taken up permanent residence before his nose, and he shuffles and wobbles as if he had swallowed a couple of bottles of strong laxative a few hours before and was just now about to suffer the consequences.
What is wrong with the man?
With a cameraphone for a change pointing at him, Jefferson yesterday pained and bobbled his way through a two minute interview at the hands of Simon Darby, the matter under discussion being the BNP's prospects in Barking and Dagenham's Goresbrook ward.
Jefferson's most profound insight into those prospects came when he told Darby that "it's just gonna be who turns the most out on the day, to be honest".
Older visitors may recall the Monty Python general election sketch in which a reporter concludes that he thinks a candidate may have won due to the number of votes cast - an observation doubtless noted and tucked away for future reference by canny Clive, since, as we all know, great minds think alike.
(Thanks to Atreus of Norfolk Unity for the montage)