February 04, 2011

The Internet Forum: Like An Algonquin Round Table For Idiots

Welcome to my new Forum. I've designed it to be a place for the free exchange of views. Anyone can join, and we'll just chat, throw ideas around and say our piece.

Think of a high-tech Lunar Society, or a millennial version of the Roman Senate under Cicero, but with the very cream of the Nation's intellectuals sharing their thoughts on the great matters of the day.

It's going to be great.

Tom Says: Hi everyone! Just a quick intro'. I'm Tom, and I believe this, this and this.

Dick Says: I'm Dick. Like Tom, I believe this and this, but I also believe that.

Tom Says: You Thattists are typical of everything that's wrong with this Forum. Why don't you just **** off and start your own Forum?

Dick Says: I'm not going to stand for that, and I shall continue to fly the Thattist flag in the face of Thissite aggression.

Harry Says: You're both right, and you're both wrong. As the Elder Statesman of this Forum, I can appreciate a degree of support for this and that, but I also support that as well.

Tom Says: It's you Thattists who are wrong. I've been involved in Thissism for thirty years and I've seen Thattists come and go. Jog on.

Dick Says: You Thissites are a dying breed.

Tom Says: Why don't you say that to my face? Scared?

Harry Says: Calm down Tom – can't we have a civilised discussion?

Tom Says: I'm not discussing anything with you, you Thattist ****!

Administrator Announcement: Tom is Banned.

Dick Says: Harry – why do you still support a degree of Thissism, if you're such a big Thattist?

Harry Says: Because it's the only way to be. You a moron or something?

Joe Says: You're both morons. And ****s. This, this and this are the only way to be. Thissism all the way!

Dick Says: Are you Tom, Joe?

Joe Says: No! Just try and prove it you ****!

Harry Says: You sound like Tom.

Joe Says: Well I'm not Tom. Never heard of him. You ****.

Dick Says: But you sound like him and you follow the same hardline Thissite agenda.

Joe Says: Well I'm NOT him. You ****.

Administrator Announcement: Joe is banned.

Harry Says: Dick, who are you?

Dick Says: My real name is Tom.

Harry Says: That's funny, because my real name is Tom, also.

Dick Says: This could get confusing. Are you the same Tom who runs the National This And Thattist Council?

Harry Says: The same.

Fred Says: I just heard that the NTATC are a bunch of ****** who spend all their time ******* each other's ***** and ******* one another in the ****.

Dick Says: Ignore him, he's just a troll.

Fred Says: I'm not a troll. I'm the only one here who knows the score! You ****.

Harry Says: And the score is?

Fred Says: For starters, you're not Tom, you're Dick. Who also isn't Tom, he's Harry. Who may say he believes in a thissite agenda with just a bit of that, but actually – and I know this to be the case; I was at the meeting when it was discussed – is really a thattist to the core which, I also know for a fact sums you up, too, Dick, for all your thissite posturing. You ****.

Administrator Announcement: Tom/Fred/Joe, Dick and Harry are all banned.

Like I said: My Forum is great. A really good place for intellectuals to swap ideas, catch up on the latest news and freely exchange ideas.

Not that it bears any relation to any other Forum that might be out there at the moment, oh deary me no...


Landale said...

Someone has been looking at the BDF forum and the fine examples of the Master Race that post there, perhaps.....?

God help us or anybody if they were running the country.

Nice one Andy, neatly distills the essence or perhaps rather the stench that the fasch are!

Anonymous said...

Even in my worst nightmares i didn't see myself being absolutely dependant on painkilling drugs! That's what i want to say here.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful. :)

Leee Baaarnes said...

What an excellent pisstake of that democracy forum. Of course if Simon Bennett was involved there would be a lot more lies, threats, swearing and general insanity.

Anonymous said...

"Administrator Announcement: Tom/Fred/Joe, Dick and Harry are all banned."

Classic! LOL

Jo said...

Sorry mate, I support Them and I always have done, so there.

Brilliant article Andy.

Anonymous said...

Heck, The BDF is full of trolls, I should know, I'm one!

Anonymous said...

Heck, The BDF is full of trolls, I should know, I'm one!

A raving anti-Semite called "LogicandFairness" is my current favourite on there. Also worth a mention is "Tom Holmes" who, when he isn't brown-nosing Griffin, is defending his attempts at online predatory behaviour towards under age girls ("she told me she was 20!") and finally "Sharon Ebanks", who whenever she raises a point critising the BNP leadership (which is often) is roundly abused for being mixed-race.

What a bunch!

Anonymous said...

May I add, that despite being a troll on BDF, I am a better class of troll, if you know what I mean.
None of the insults and muck slinging for me, just nazi baiting and poking them to allow the fun to flow, so to speak.
The BDF troll (who confessed above)

Anonymous said...

But you're not the BEST troll - I am!

Anonymous said...


Particulary enjoyed the timing of the Administrator Announcements.

I can just picture "Admin" getting more worn down the longer the ahem dabate went on.

And very much like the real thing if you've ever visited BDF.

A joy to read!

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