August 31, 2009

A message from His Porkiness...

A new technological breakthrough enables the viewer of an email or document to see it complete with all the changes that were made during its production. This breakthrough reveals far more about the creator of these documents than was ever intended.

After hours of work, the technicians at the gigantic, hi-tech LU campus had a breakthrough with the most recent begging letter from Nick 'Grabber' Griffin, the leader of the BNP. Here is the email, complete with deletions:
You sad twat Fellow Patriot

I'm delighted to inform you of my latest scam a very special invitation now open to you: the British National Party 'LIFE MEMBERSHIP' offer.

This con honour is being extended to absolutely anyone who is stupid enough to fall for it a carefully selected group of British citizens, morons stalwart BNP members like you, and I would like to be the first to personally congratulate you for being among that special chosen group of losers people.

Please give this permanent daily weekly 'once in a lifetime' opportunity your careful consideration. The reason is simple. I want your money. We need people like YOU!

We need suckers who are easily parted from their readies patriotic people from all walks of life, people who are not afraid to stand up for this country and our British heritage. We need cash people who are proud to honour the memory of all those brave men and women who, down through the turbulent centuries, have given their lives so we could live free.

You can help build my second home in Croatia a strong British National Party by accepting Jim Dowson's my personal invitation to become a LIFE MEMBER...TODAY!

Despite the tremendous amount of money I am making at the European Parliament progress we have made this year, we are still skint not strong enough to make a full assault on the corridors of power at Westminster, and if you think you're getting your hands on my dosh, you can fuck off but soon we will be.

By accepting my invitation to sign up for the exclusive LIFE MEMBERSHIP OFFER, you will be providing the readies strength and security I want the party needs to make me as rich as I deserve to be go forward to the next level in British politics in defence of this land and our people.

We have set the fee for LIFE MEMBERSHIP at £1m £2000 £4.50 £500, but if you respond to this written invitation right away, you can take advantage of this offer for the same old price of special invitation price of £395. This though in fact there is NO reduction, suckers is a token of my deep appreciation for your loyalty and hard work for the party.

But there is more bad average good news for you. If you accept my invitation today - we can offload skiploads of old Excalibur crap on you you'll receive all the valuable benefits only available to LIFE MEMBERS, FREE!
  • FREE poor quality, cheap, badly engraved imitation Mickey Mouse watch, (made in China).
  • FREE exclusive SUCKER LIFE MEMBER pin badge to wear with shame and humiliation (made in Taiwan).
  • FREE lifelong subscription to the tedious IDENTITY magazine 64pp. (worth 99p)
  • FREE lifelong 'annual party reports' (if we can ever get them out in the year they're due).
  • FREE prestigious LIFE MEMBER certificate faux parchment scroll for framing (made in Hong Kong).
  • FREE absolutely appalling limited edition of a billion 8x10 signed portrait of Party Chairman Nick Griffin MEP to throw darts at.
You will also receive a cheap to produce highly desirable GOLD coloured embossed LIFE MEMBERSHIP card so you can show all the other suckers out there what a REALLY sad loser you are.

Simply by becoming a LIFE MEMBER, you will be facilitating my masturbatory fantasies of unbridled riches the hopes, prayers and aspirations of every true British citizen. It's a brilliant con-trick that Jim Dowson reckons you idiots are bound to fall for an honour and privilege I sincerely hope you accept losers.

Yours sincerely
Nick Griffin CEO MEP


Landale said...

Oh dear, it reads just like one of those letters you receive from Readers Digest - who curiously has just filed for banruptcy protection in the US.

I wonder, are they related :-)

Whilst the loss of the BNP would be heartwarming, the battle against the fascist if far from over - their members and local organisations still exist and the task bring them round a big one.

Finally much as I like his house in our hills, I wouldn't buy it as in effect I would be giving the bastard funds :-(

Brummie said...

We must not forget the BNP councillors too, keep the cash and allowances and do nothing!

Then again, bad management ALWAYS comes from the top, ie Griffin!

Anonymous said...

What a great offer. Give Griffin £500 and next year he will have you thrown out and keep your money.

on the list ex-bnp said...

F**king spot-on!

As an ex-member, this sums up exactly all the BNP is. Griffin and his wife get fatter while his gimps keep on throwing away their money.
When are they going to wake up?

Kev Scott loves The Jam said...

Lol..... looks like they cant even afford a proper 'secure connection' for membership... this link:

just 'says' secure.... it actually isnt!

Oh and apparently, all you 'Marxist UAF traitors' are the ones spitting at our soldiers at homecoming parades.... Lol

And..... WTF is an F.S.I.D watch?
(Foundation for sudden infant death?)
(Fooling Suckers into debt?)
(Fascist 'Stormtroopers' inherently Dumb?)

BNPlegalteam said...

This is to formaly give u notice of legal action for your breach of the BNP's human rights, data protection, blah blah blah by using the resources of MI5, Zanu NueLiebour, the LibLabCon pact, blah blah blah to mount an unpreside... unprecerd.... unprezz... never seen before DOSS assault on PRIVATE and CONFIDENTIAL e-mails.

U have been warned

LJ Barnes LLB (Largely, largely bonkers)
Legal guru to His Porkiness

Anonymous said...

It's Reader's Digest all over - you have been selected to be the recipient of a Limited Edition one-time offer of a plate with a big-eyed kitten printed on it. Vo-mit.

Anonymous said...

My God, fancy being a lifer with the nazzers. It's be like having "I'm a wazzock" tattooed on ya forehead.

Anonymous said...

I'm slowly forming the opinion that the BNP is not so much a political party but a medium-sized money-making scam.

Karen said...

Oh well - I see the offer is only open to UK citizens - means Mr and Mrs Kemp have a good excuse not to partake of the offer! Assume however they will be paid for the crap Excalibur will provide as part of the offer - so glad Arthur will be able to afford to pay child support!

The Ex

Anonymous said...

Just think how much money we're all saving by NOT buying into these scams.

Anonymous said...

Did anybody see the Hairy Bikers tonight??

I'm sure that the elderly geezer standing at the front in the light blazer in their live show at Lincoln Cathedral had a BNP badge on.

The BBC are promoting the bloody fascist arseholes subconsiously now!

Anonymous said...

Yes Arthur Kemp and his wife are not British and another jobs for the boys. Arthur Kemp has only been a member of the BNP for 2 yrs yet him and his wife take all the money from Excalibur! The BNP are a joke.

Jamie The Antifascist said...

"FREE absolutely appalling limited edition of a billion 8x10 signed portrait of Party Chairman Nick Griffin MEP to throw darts at"

LMAO, a portrait of himself...crikey, the freak is sounding more and more like shitler each day

Anonymous said...

They will never stop being fleeced because to deny Gri££in donations would mean either a) Gri££in gives up and leaves b) the BNP crumbles through lack of resources. Either way (true or not) thats what they must believe and their 'cause' is more important than some dubious decisions/requests, so they will continue to give. This financial PR strategy is a dead end for us we should just focus on the political naivety/impractical nature of their politics (as some have begun to do e.g. the 'sink 'em' policy).

Anonymous said...

Absolutely Classic!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Stormfront is dead where has everyone gone?

Anonymous said...

Tut tut

Anonymous said...



Dear Fellow NationalistIn the past 48hrs you may have received yet another grovelling demand for money from the BNP Chairman Nick Griffin. Within the invitation to become a BNP member for life (fine in principle until he finds an excuse to purge said individual with the usual vitrolic nonsense that the individual concerned is a neo-nazi/State asset/Searchlight mole/crank/dinosaur et al) there is a link to paying online at the URL:

Well this is a massive mistake by Simon Bennett; the earnest yet disgruntled current webmaster who has had a major row with the current leadership in the past few weeks. Simon has undoubtedly helped propel the BNP website towards new heights of success but in the process of so doing some very basic issues, not least ensuring the content is of political interest and stimulating, but in this case the issue of security of information transfer has been overlooked. Everyone who is in receipt of this latest begging letter from Griffin must be warned that they should not give their credit card details via an unencrypted site. If the site was really secure it would be thus: the prefix https://


May God help those misguided and gullible individuals who have already sent their personal details via this thoroughly insecure web page. The consequences do not bear thinking about - credit card phishing is one of the most common types of fraud perpetrated by Internet crooks. Please pass this on to anyone you know/think may be so minded to follow Griffin's latest (but most certainly not the final) call for cash.

With kind regards to the legion of genuine nationalists who remain true to the Cause,

Steve Blake Former BNP web editor


This is not the first time such a blunder has occurred.
There are other insecure pages here: here


While I was looking for the elusive BNP Organiser Guides on the following page I was mildly amused but, more so, embarrassed by the BidVertiser Ad for "Accurate Psychic Readings". Could this be an ad for the latest money making scam by the desperate Treasury team?

Reg the Dog said...

I clicked on that link to see where it led and was taken to A Whois search on this address revealed the following:

Domain name:

Psychic International

Registrant type:

Registrant's address:
Beacon Drive Kirkby in Ashfield
NG17 7PX
United Kingdom

GX Networks Ltd t/a [Tag = 123-REG]

Relevant dates:
Registered on: 30-Nov-2000
Renewal date: 30-Nov-2010
Last updated: 07-Jan-2009

Registration status:
Registered until renewal date.

Name servers:

A quick search on 82 Beacon Drive led me to one John Dutton, a 'phsychic doctor' and member of the BNP. Spooky, huh?

Anonymous said...

Many bnp'ers are starting to wise up,me included.

BNP Spoonbenders said...

So fake psychics are the latest BNP moneymaking scam, lol.

I predict that pretty soon, Cyclops will disappear with all of the cash, including the Euro Gravy-Train Money, and do a runner!

Reg the Dog said...

I just checked on the other link (Phone and Chat) that goes off from the Organiser Guides page and lo and behold, the registrant has withheld their information - but not the name. It's Psychic International. Yep, BNP member John Dutton again.

I smell a VERY big scam going on here.

Anonymous said...

"I predict that pretty soon, Cyclops will disappear with all of the cash, including the Euro Gravy-Train Money, and do a runner!"

He won't do that until he rakes it in from his biography coming out soon. What on earth will fill the pages is anyones guess.

Reg the Dog said...

I hate to go on about this but you might notice that the SAME two ads appear on EVERY BNP page including Land and People (where they appear twice). Bizarre.

LU Supporter said...

"I smell a VERY big scam going on here."

Good work mate. This obviously needs more investigation.

Anonymous said...

More detective work needed but a fucking good start guys.

M. Barton said...

Classic LU work by Reg the Dog. Take a bow (wow).

Anonymous said...

And another desperate money-making schem/scam:
The First Ever British National Party Christmas Lectures With Special Guest Lecturer, Party Chairman and Member of the European Parliament Mr Nick Griffin MEP BNP.

The Lectures will be hosted in the Heart of the Black Country on Sunday the 20th of December 2009.

Due to the Lectures Being an Inaugural Event, Attendees will be arriving from Destinations around the Country and Possibly abroad. Guests are welcome from 7 pm or a little earlier. Formal Dress is required, the Lectures will Commence at 8 pm, after which there will be a High Quality Buffet, Magic Showand Live Entertainment.

Tickets on sale Now at £15 per person, or £10 each for groups of four, (Tel John or Russ on 07846 577740) Tickets must be purchased in advance, Please remember to leave your address with Full post code.

Anonymous said...

So Griffin becoming an MEP has bumped up the price of a ticket?

Before he was elected everyone in the BNP was talking about how his new-found wealth would be put to the service of the cause. But now it seems any extra dosh is flowing in the opposite direction.

You have to admire his style, don't you? If they really are that fucking stupid there must be some way that you guys can con some money out of the dullards too, surely?