Is Killer Collett back in the BNP?

Like Gary Glitter, he's back again - Killer Collett rejoins the ranks (maybe)

How confusing is it to be a member of the BNP? Just over a week ago, the world was informed that a plot to unseat the leader of the party had been discovered and that a taped telephone conversation between the party's treasurer David Hannam and the its former head of publicity Mark Collett revealed threats of murder and assault and talk of fraud and falsification of accounts, including 'skimming' off printing bills for the party.

Last Monday, party organisers met up and were treated to a ten minute snippet of the tape that apparently included the threats and non-specific mention of the fraud that had taken place, though the whole tape was held back until a committee declared on its authenticity. This committee, led by taxi driver and world-renowned tape authenticity expert [sarcasm] Michael Simpkins, declared that the tape was genuine and, we gather, the shortened version was given to the police.

Why the shortened version? Because the complete tape was almost an hour and a half of Killer Collett slagging off party leader Nick Griffin and fundraiser Jim Dowson, along with a multitude of accusations of theft and complicity in a massive and persistent fraud on the membership of the British National Party. These allegations were, we're told, so detailed that the police would have had at least enough information to begin investigating the party's finances - and that would have been disastrous for Griffin and the party itself.

According to information we have received, the police are not prepared to take any action based upon a tape that has clearly been tampered with, leaving the police with nothing to investigate.

Given that the party is anxious to hide any sign of wrongdoing by its officers - particularly by its leader - for fear that a whole financial can of worms would be opened up, the only thing to do was, in the words of one of our correspondents, 'to take that wanker Collett back at least until after the elections'. Thus, we're informed that Collett is back in the BNP fold though on a much-reduced salary and only on condition that he keeps his mouth firmly shut in future.

It's hard to know what Collett will be doing in the party after his reinstatement because it seems that the design of leaflets has been handed over to the detestable Paul Golding, a Griffin-acolyte who appears to be much-loathed in the party, while printing has been shifted to - surprise - one of Jim Dowson's many companies, leaving Paedo-boy to sit around twiddling his thumbs.

Nevertheless, the man who, just a week ago, was accused of conspiracy to unseat Porky Griffin as leader of the BNP and was said to have uttered threats to kill him, is apparently back because the party leadership is terrified of what havoc he could wreak by exposing the corruption that saturates the party from top to bottom.

It could only happen in the BNP...